Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: The G Force Edition

Any of you geeks out there remember this?

Now imagine that you are the Alabama Crimson Tide...or Marcus Mariota and the Oregon Beavers...

Sportswriters across the land are hoping both can save the world and give them the game they drool over: Oregon vs. Alabama for the BCS Glass.

Will it happen?

Maybe it will....maybe it won't.

In the meantime, the field is beginning to settle, the undefeated teams are pulling away and separating themselves.

But is there REALLY a dominant team this year?

We don't think so.

Keeping that in mind, we will remind you of one constant. We are damn good at picking games...

Last week: So we leveled off 9-2 on the week, 59-5 on the season. Pretty good, isn't it...

But enough of that. As Casey Kasem always says, "On with the Countdown"


1) Alabama 5-0. Ha-Ha. Yeah, great, you beat Ga. State. Congratulations. But you have problems Slick Nick. Apparently you have/had an assistant paying players. Yeah...uh, that's not good. The NCAA generally frowns on it. But no fear, you have no near term challengers. This Week: vs. at Kentucky. Our Pick: Alabama 44, Kentucky 13

2) Oregon 5-0. Ha-Ha. Colorado had the lead on you...for about 30 seconds. We picked you to score 59, you scored 57....missed it by __that much. A bigger test this week on the road and Gameday in the house. This Week: at Washington. Our Pick: Oregon 37, Washington 31

3) Clemson 5-0. Barely broke a sweat against the ' New York no less. Well done. The meat of your schedule is ahead. Don't pull a Clemson on us. You could spoil the BCS party if you don't. This Week: vs. Boston College. Our Pick: Clemson 41, BC 23

4) Stanford 5-0. Congrats. You survived Washington. Though we'd love to see David Shaw and Coach Sark in the squared circle.

This Week: vs. Utah. Our Pick: Stanford 33, Utah 27

5) Ohio State 6-0. Congrats guys, you won the toughest game on your schedule last week. Unless you monumentally choke, you are going to run the table. But you may have the worst schedule in the entire BCS. Admit it. The Big 10 is awful this year. This Week: BYE

6) Florida St. 5-0 Wow! Two ACC teams in the top 6? How does that happen? Jameis Winston happened. That's how. We love watching him play. And the 'Noles next square off with Clemson. In 2 weeks. This Week: BYE

7) Georgia 4-1. Will the last healthy guy please turn out the lights? The best of the one loss teams has lost it's Top 4 WR's, Top 2 RB's and a handful of defensive starters. But they've held on. Allegedly the schedule gets easier, but Dawg fans are probably asking when? This Week: vs. Missouri, Our Pick: UGA 31, Mizzou 27

8) LSU 5-1  Okay, can someone please explain how a Les Miles team is scoring 45 a game? Cam? Zach? Answers please. It's time to find out if the Tigers will be running with the big boys at the end of the season. This Week: vs. Florida, Our Pick: LSU 31, UF 17

9) UCLA 4-0. Foks, this is your sleeper team. Though the schedule doesn't get easier. We really like what our pal Jimmy Mora Jr has done here. Brett Hundley is awesome. Need we say more. This Week: vs Cal. Our Pick: UCLA 33, Cal 23

10) Texas A&M 4-1. We continually profess our love for Johnny Football. He is the Tim Tebow of his era. Only the heel version.

No major challenges ahead. Until late November. This Week: at Ole Miss. Our Pick: Aggies 43, Ole Miss 30

11) Oklahoma 5-0. Okay Bob Stoops. Yes, you are underrated. But will you please stop whining about the SEC? You still have to win your own conference. Which is no guarantee. This Week: at Texas. Oklahoma 34, Texas 21

12) Baylor 4-0. Ok. University of Texas. You are delusional if you don't try to hire Art Briles from Baylor. He is a genius. Pure and simple. Put this team and Oregon on the field together and we might see someone score 100. And it would be fun to watch. This Week: at Kansas St. Our Pick: Baylor 70, K-State 16 (look it up)


5) New Mexico State 0-6. Yikes. You lost to former Bottom member New Mexico 66-17? Really? How does that happen? Oh, wait, you are being outscored by 33 points a game on average. That explains it. This Week: vs. Rice. Our Pick: Rice 33, New Mexico St 0

4) Hawaii 0-5. Norm! Yes, Mr. Chow. We're talking to you. What happened? This used to be a proud team. And now this? How does that happen? Inquiring minds want to know. This Week: at UNLV. Our Pick: UNLV 40, Hawaii 20

3) UMass 0-5. So, yeah, that whole Fight Club thing from a couple weeks ago has served you guys well, hasn't it Charley Molnar? Dude. Either you can't coach, or...well. Where you stand right now tells everyone all they need to know. 7 points a game. ---sigh---This Week: vs. Miami (OH) Our Pick (do we have to?) Miami 8, UMass 7

2) Georgia St. 0-5. Yes, the mighty Saban is a kind and generous soul. 45-3. Consider yourselves lucky that you walked away relatively healthy Trent Miles and team. But your season isn't over. Don't forget. This Week: vs. Troy St. Our Pick: Troy St. 38, Ga. State 13

1) Southern Miss 0-5. Oh, Golden Eagles, how we pity you so. 17 straight losses, 4 turnovers as you go down vs. a horrible FIU team. If you could see us, we'd be shaking our collective heads. Where's Brett Favre when you need him? This Week: at East Carolina. Our Pick: ECU 47, S.Miss 13

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