The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Well, last weekend sure was interesting...



More interesting than a Gomer Pyle clip, that's for sure...

Yeah, you might say there were a few "Upset" games last week in College Football and, well, you wouldn't be wrong.

If nothing else, the past week of College Football action proves that the alleged "committee" that is going to pick the 4 playoff teams, has a tough task ahead of them because quite honestly, there are a lot of really good teams, but not really any great ones...



What wasn't so awesome last week--our picks. Yeah, sure, we went 9-5 moving us to 56-10 on the season, which, well...actually is pretty awesome, but we hate to admit we missed 5 games. Though we did pick Mississippi State to beat Texas A&M...and we were right.

So with that in mind, this weeks poll looks almost nothing like last weeks. Yay! Easily the game of the week coming up is Auburn and Mississippi State. That, should be fun to watch.

With that in mind, in the words of the immortal Casey Kasem, let's get "On With the Countdown"

THE DIRTY DOZEN:

1) Florida State 5-0. Yeah, we know. They haven't been amazing this season. And we aren't sold that this is your best team in all the land. But they are defending champs.

Tell 'em Naitch--



And he's right because there is a good chance the Noles run the table. (This Week: at Syracuse, Our Pick: FSU 45, Cuse 31)

2) Auburn 5-0. Is this your best team in all the land? Maybe. But, they also have the misfortune of playing in the SEC West which IS the best division in all the land. And unfortunately, they have a large part of that schedule left. Time to step it up. (This Week: at Miss St., Our Pick: Auburn 28, Miss St. 23)

3) Mississippi St. 5-0. Yes, a Mississippi team at #3. And it's not the one that beat 'Bama. It's the better one that beat LSU and Texas A&M. Yes, they've been one of the best stories in College Football this year. But with one of College Football's worst pass defenses can they keep it up? We don't think so. (This Week: See above)

4) Ole Miss 5-0. I know. 2 Mississippi teams in the top 4. Go figure. We're pretty sure this is a sign of the Zombie Apocalypse. But this is a very good team that beat Alabama. A VERY GOOD defensive team. They may be the Mississippi team that survives or not. (This Week: at Texas A&M, Our Pick: Ole Miss 27, Aggies 21)

5) Baylor 5-0. We don't love the Bears as much as some other pollsters do. But they're undefeated in the the Big 9 (12), so they get top billing. They've lit up scoreboards and the defense has done well, but they really haven't played anyone of note either. That changes now. (This Week: vs. TCU, Our Pick: TCU 31, Baylor 30 UPSET ALERT!!)

6) TCU 4-0. This is probably your best team in the Big 9(12). They played extremely well against Oklahoma. It wasn't a total shock the Horned Frogs won. And we think Gary Patterson is and has been one of CFB's best coaches for a long time. (This Week: see Above)

7) Notre Dame 5-0. Another good, but we aren't sure if they are great team. Yes, we know, they beat Stanford, which is great for them. But really, outside of that, we haven't been impressed. But the schedule is VERY favorable. We may see them again in the playoff whether they are worthy or not. (This Week: vs. North Carolina, Our Pick: Notre Dame 37, UNC 17) 

8) Alabama 4-1. Our first 1 loss team. We haven't been on the bandwagon this year, because while very good, this mixed marriage of Saban and Kiffykins has question marks attached. Though admittedly, Kiffy's offense has been pretty good. They are still better than most. Period. (This Week: at Arkansas, Our Pick: Bama 34, Arkansas 21)

9) Arizona 5-0. Yes folks, that Rich Rod guy can coach. This isn't a flashy or crazy good team, but they are winning. They figured out how to beat Oregon...at Oregon. Not easy. The schedule gets a bit easier and it IS possible they run the table, though the #112 ranked pass defense needs to improve. (This Week: vs. USC, Our Pick: Arizona 41, USC 37)

10) Oklahoma 4-1. Let's see, Sooner coach Bob Stoops has been mouthing about the SEC. And he's been talking up his conference. And then his team goes and gets beat by a good not great TCU. Sound familiar? But they are Oklahoma so they get pollster love. (This Week: vs. Texas, Our Pick: Oklahoma 37, Texas 21)

11) Michigan St. 4-1. Is Sparty the best of the B1G? Maybe. Are the Spartans a playoff team? We aren't convinced. They've been very good against crappy competition, they got beat by an ok Oregon team and pushed by a decent Nebraska. No challenges ahead until they play Ohio State. (This Week: at Purdue, Our Pick: Sparty 43, Purdue 10)

12) Georgia 4-1. Yeah, sure, we're playing semi-homer here. But any team with Todd Gurley has a chance to win no matter who they play. Sure, I have a better arm than the QB and despite a questionable defense, Huston Mason may be what keeps the 'Dawgs from a title shot. (This Week: at Missouri, Our Pick: Gurley Men 37, Mizzou 31)

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:



**ED NOTE**---Congrats to the Miami (OH) Redhawks for winning their first game after 31 straight losses. And they came back from a 41-14 deficit to do it. Impressive boys. You have escaped the island. Now win a few and stay off it....

5) Kent State 0-5. They've come close, but thus far, no, they haven't been able to beat anyone. The Golden Flashes can't run the ball, but otherwise they aren't embarrassingly bad. And with a game vs. UMass approaching, they may bet off the schnide. (This Week: vs. UMass, Our Pick: Kent St. 38, UMass 28)

4) Idaho 0-5. Yup, the Vandals managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory when they threw an interception late in their loss to Texas State while driving for a potential game winning score. But that is par as they say. (This Week: heh-heh at Ga.Southern, Our Pick: Ga. Southern 47, Idaho 14)

3) Troy 0-5. Poor Larry Blankney. He's retiring after leading the Trojans to huge success over the past 25-years. And then this years version ends up being a stinker. They had a chance last week to beat La.Monroe, but lost on a late Field Goal. (This Week: vs. New Mexico St., Our Pick: NM State 37, Troy 33)

2) SMU 0-5. The good news...the Ponies scored double figures vs. East Carolina, tallying 24 points. The bad--they gave up 45 and still lost badly. Props to them for doubling their point production for the year. (This Week: BYE)

1) UMass 0-5. Oh boy. They've had two chances to win and blown both of them. How do you get a 41-14 lead over Miami (OH) and lose 42-41? That is really, really hard to do. Yet they did it and will remain at the bottom until they can prove something...anything to us. (This Week: see #5)

Because we said so:

UMass Football Asked to Leave the MAC

Insert joke here...

No seriously. The University of Massachusetts and the Mid-American Conference will part ways in 2015. And aside from the requisite jokes being made due to the ineptitude of the Minutemen football program, there's actually a reason for this.

UMass was a football only member of the MAC, the basketball team plays in the Atlantic 10.

According to ESPN.com, UMass was asked to be a full-time member of the MAC, but decided to pass. The problem: The Atlantic 10 is a basketball only conference. And the MAC, well, they wanted all or nothing from the Minutemen.

Read more from ESPN.com RIGHT HERE

So...this has little to no impact on the MAC. They will become a 12-team conference. No big deal, even scheduling in 2016.

UMass has a bigger problem. Perennially one of the worst teams in the FBS (Division 1), they are a bad team now with no home. The school wants to stay where they are, the problem is, where do they go? Most of the smaller College Football programs in the Northeastern U.S are FCS (1-AA) teams. There are several that play in FBS, but they are all in power conferences. None of which would have any interest.

Not a huge story on the Sports landscape here, but an interesting one never the less and one that further enhances a question we often ask: What happens to the non-power schools in the FBS after the playoff and split happens?

And no, there's not a simple answer....

This Is What It Sounds Like To Get Trucked

((HT: Awful Announcing/WMUA))

The HQ will admit that there are few things less appealing than college hoops before January...

But the four-letter network did their 24-hour, round-the-clock marathon to showcase the sport and give themselves non-stop programming...

But Awful Announcing gives us a moment... and it was a moment...

In the UMass-LSU game, there was a loose ball, players, and UMass Chris Doherty taking the charge...


Doherty and his equipment survived...
As far as we know...

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Oops

You know, sometimes it's good to be humbled, to be reminded that you aren't nearly as smart as you think you are.

And last weeks column and predictions reminded me of just that.



Just when we think that teams have moved forward and will no longer choke when put under pressure, we're proven wrong.

But that's part of the game kids.

In this clip, we find out what happens when a TV Network decides a sequel would be cool. Even if it was 20-years after the original. And the same actors look a LOT older.



So....last weeks tally: 9-6 (Worst WEEK EVER) Overall: 56-13, still pretty good.

THE DIRTY DOZEN:

1) Alabama 5-0. No debate here. Even if Nick Saban doesn't agree, everyone else does. So that's all that matters. They are coming off a bye week, but play Mizzou without James Franklin. They won't break a sweat. (This Week: at Missouri. Our Pick: Alabama 41, Mizzou 10)

2) Oregon 6-0. Guess we don't have much of an argument for keeping them out of this slot any more. ---sigh--. We still think they are the best of the West Coast. Which doesn't win you a title. (This Week: BYE)

3) South Carolina 6-0. Can't really debate this either. They just ran over Georgia last week. Coach Thin Skin put his wrinkly neck out last week and it paid off. All the attention was off his team. And that was quite honestly, a genius move. (This Week: at LSU. Our Pick: S.Carolina 17, LSU 13)

4) West Virginia 5-0. The Pinball Wizard tour continues. They play little defense in Morgantown, but when you score 50-plus a game, you don't have to. Geno Smith wasn't spectacular vs. Texas, but he didn't have to be. (This Week: at Texas Tech. Our Pick: WVA 43, Texas Tech 31)

5) Florida 5-0. Boom! Betcha didn't see this coming Florida fans. Okay. Honestly, nobody really saw this coming. But yet here they are. They've done just enough to win. And really that's all that matters. While beating LSU was great, the next 3 weeks will define their season. (This Week: at Vanderbilt. Our Pick: Florida 24, Vandy 21)

6) Notre Dame 5-0. Really didn't see this coming. And we're starting to worry our Notre Dame friends are going to starting saying how great they are again too. It looks like even though Brian Kelly is a bit of a douche, he's got another good team. (This Week: vs. Stanford. Our Pick: Notre Dame 27, Stanford 21)

7) Kansas St. 5-0. They just keep winning. And may be the best of the Big 12/10. The test comes in about 10 days. But right now, they are cruising. Colin Klein keeps producing and the defense is stout. At least on a Big 12/10 level. (This Week: at Iowa St. Our Pick: Kansas St. 34, Iowa St. 31)

8) Oregon St. 4-0. Because they are still undefeated they get this. However...they lose Sean Mannion and that may be there death knell. But we'll give them credit right now and if they don't stay here, we can live with that. (This Week: at BYU. Our Pick: BYU 31, Oregon St. 13--UPSET)

9) Florida State 5-1. We knew it would happen. We didn't know when, but we knew it. At some point, they were going to choke and lose a game they shouldn't. There's no excuse as to what happened vs. NC State. None. (This Week: vs. Boston College. Our Pick: FSU 44, BC 10)

10) LSU 5-1. Really? 6 Points vs. Florida. And then you make excuses about conditioning? Come on Les, your team is better than that. Right? You know you're making me look bad, I really thought you guys could win it all. Now we don't think you'll win the SEC. (This Week: See #3)

11) Ohio St. 6-0. Alright. Maybe coaching does count for something. Yes, they aren't eligible for a bowl game. But it doesn't matter. They are winning. And for the most part convincingly. And won't be pushed the rest of this season. (This Week: at Indiana. Our Pick: Ohio St. 41, Indiana 23)

12) Georgia 5-1. OK. Don't make me regret this Bulldogs. As much as we respect and love Mark Richt, we are starting to wonder about his teams balls. Yes, their cojones. They seem to fold at every big challenge. Maybe it's true, you have to be a dick to win. (This Week: BYE)

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:

We can't believe we are reporting this, but both Memphis...and Idaho won this past week. Memphis was #1 and Idaho #3 in our poll. Go figure.

5) Auburn 1-4. Welcome home Gene Chizik. You are proving out to be exactly what we thought you were. There was a reason Iowa St fired you. But that doesn't excuse Jay Jacobs or pretty much anyone at Auburn for (a) Hiring you...and (b) Giving you a bizarre and idiotic contract extension after Cam Newton won you a title. ---sigh--- (This Week: at Ole Miss. Our Pick: Ole Miss 27, Auburn 16)

4) Kansas 1-4. Speaking of bizarre coaching hires.....Yes Charlie Weis, it's all the student newspaper's fault. That is why K-State annihilated you. It has nothing to do with how bad your team is or you are as a coach. And yes, your team has been here before too. (This Week: vs. Oklahoma State. Our Pick: Okie St. 40 man points, Kansas 17 Charlie Weis belt loops)

3) Southern Miss. 0-5. Still happy about having your own team Ellis Johnson? You sure? We said it last week and will say it again. Brett Favre for coach in 2013. You heard it here first. (This Week: at UCF. Our Pick: UCF 37, S.Miss 20)

2) Tulane 0-5. According to ESPN, they rank 109th or worse in at least 4 major categories. Out of 129 or so teams. That alone will put you here. You can't win being outscored on average 42-9. Plain and simple. (This Week: vs. SMU. Our Pick: SMU 42, Tulane 9)

1) UMass 0-6. Looks like the Minutemen and Green Wave will battle it out all year for the "Worst of the Worst". They just can't buy a win. Or any luck. Their only show will be vs. Akron next month. (This Week: BYE)

So enjoy another week and know that we're nearly half way home. Things will continue to shake out, but unless Alabama mails one in, it may already be over. 

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Can't Touch This!

Only in the world of College Football is it Headline News when Alabama coach Nick Saban says: "There's too much scoring".



And while as a coach, he's probably not wrong, from a fan and TV viewers perspective...he's certifiably insane.

Okay, even without saying that...he's still insane.

Crap...I hope the state of Alabama doesn't attempt to blow up the palatial OSG HQ digs for that one.

Anyway, in lieu of the defenseless teams in College Football, we continue our march to the top of College Football prognostications. (And yes, we know how to use big words...you've been warned)

In this week's clip, since the Game of the Week as decreed by ESPN is Georgia at South Carolina, we give you a clip that expresses South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier's thoughts on local newspaper columnist Ron Morris. Unfortunately, Spurrier also thinks Stephen Garcia was the best QB in NFL history. (So...Spurrier is a bit delusional---damn, I guess I won't get to cover S.Carolina football now).



Anyway, fortifying our claim as a great prognosticator--Last Week: 10-1, Overall: 47-7. Holla!

The Dirty Dozen:

1) Alabama 5-0. So the Tide struggled...sort of vs. Ole Miss. And Saban insists the team isn't as good as we think. We don't totally disagree, but who better than Kanyon. Oh...sorry, old wrestling reference. Good thing the Tide is off so they can lick their wounds. Ha!. (This Week: BYE)

2) Florida State 5-0. Yeah, so they didn't put pinball numbers up against South Florida. But they won. And outside the season ender vs. Florida, they aren't going to pushed real hard. Ok...maybe at Va. Tech. On second thought....(This Week: at NC State. Our Pick: FSU 37, NC State 21)

3) Oregon 5-0. So. ESPN says DeAnthony Thomas is the fastest guy in football. Maybe so, but there are 10-15 guys on SEC teams nearly as fast. Still, they are the best of the "Track Meet" teams...or to be more specific, "Teams Nick Saban Hates". (This Week: vs. Washington. Our Pick: Oregon 43, Washington 26)

4) LSU 5-0. What happened to these guys? Does Lester really hate offense? Is Zach Mettenberger really Jordan Jefferson? We thought more of this team. We were wrong. (Don't tell anyone). The next few weeks are not going to be fun unless something changes here. (This Week: at Florida. Our Pick: LSU 17, Florida 16)

5) Georgia 5-0. We covered these guys for 10-years and still can't figure them out. But then again, they have the same issue their ownselves. How funny would it be if Mark Richt wore a Ron Morris mask during the game? (This Week: at South Carolina. Our Pick: Georgia 20, S.Carolina 19)

6) S.Carolina 5-0. So...Steve Spurrier is paranoid and has a thin skin. I'm shocked. We wish our friends in the South Carolina media luck, because if they lose, they won't be able to ask Spurrier about it. Or maybe they will, just to see if his head explodes. But seriously, Spurrier is taking the attention away from his team, which is pretty good on their own. (This Week: vs. Georgia. Our Pick: See #5)

7) West Virginia 4-0. Okay. So the Mountaineers aren't going to be NCAA Champs. Unless you are playing video games. But they are fun to watch. And Geno Smith is good. Really good. Even if Nick Saban thinks they are pure evil and ruining his game--ok Alabama, I made that up. (This Week: at Texas. Our Pick: W.Virginia 41, Texas 31)

8) Florida 4-0. Welcome back Gator fans. Please enjoy your stay, because it isn't going to last. But props to Coach Boom for making progress in G-Ville. They haven't dominated anyone--no, Kentucky doesn't count. And the schedule gets a LOT harder now. (This Week: vs. LSU. Our Pick: See #4)

9) Kansas St. 4-0. All they do is win. Well, as long as Bill Snyder is the head coach anyway. No, they aren't a "Dominant team", but no such thing exists in the Big 12/10. And Collin Klein wins pretty well too. (This Week: vs. Kansas. Our Pick: K-State 36, Kansas 17)

10) Notre Dame 4-0. Ok Notre Dame fans. We tip our hats. You are 4-0 right now. You've beaten 2 overrated Big 10/12 teams. And beaten them convincingly. Plus we like Manti Te'o. He's really good. Brian Kelly...not so much. (This Week: vs. Miami. Our Pick: Notre Dame 27, Miami 23)

11) Oregon State 3-0. Congratulations Beaver fans, you've made it on our list. Sean Mannion is a pretty good QB and you've handled everyone that you've had to. You'll win the rescheduled game vs. Nicholls St. too. And that will get you to a bowl. But...it's been smoke and mirrors. Much like Dracula, you can't actually see yourself in a mirror. Ooooohhhh. Burn....( This Week: vs. Washington St. Our Pick: Oregon St. 53, Wash. St. 37)

12) TCU 4-0. Yes...TCU. They could win the Big 12. Seriously. They could. Casey Paschall gets better every week (*note--he got pulled over for DUI Wednesday--we take back what we said) and so does the defense. Gary Patterson is the best coach nobody outside the business knows. (This Week: vs. Iowa St. Our Pick: TCU 24, Iowa St. 14)

The Bottom of the Barrel: 

5) Tulane 0-4. Hello Green Wave fans. How's the season been going so far? What? You've only scored 32 points....all season? And given up 173? Really? But you play in Conference USA. Oh wait, Memphis does too? Never mind. (This Week: vs. La. Lafayette. Our Pick: La. Lafayette 47, Tulane 8)

4) Southern Miss. 0-4. Note to Ellis Johnson. Sometimes good assistants don't make good head coaches. Geez, this was a good team as recently as last year. Weren't they? Oh wait! They play in Conference USA too. Well, that explains everything. With Brett Favre coaching HS Football is it only a matter of time before he takes over the alma mater. (You heard it here 1st!). (This Week: vs. Boise St. Our Pick: Boise State 37, S. Miss 21)

3) Idaho 0-5. Sometimes bad puns are too easy. So we'll try not to make any here. But hey, look at it this way, they only gave up 66 to North Carolina last week and they don't play them again. So there's that. (This Week: vs. New Mexico St. Our Pick: NM State 3, Idaho 2)

2) Memphis 0-4. So...they didn't lose this week, which will keep them out of the #1 position. What's that? They didn't play? Oh...come on, everyone beats BYE week, don't they? Oh...wait, they play in Conference USA, CFB's worst conference, right? (This Week: vs. Rice. Our Pick: Rice 21, Memphis 17)

1) UMass 0-5. Lookie here. They almost beat Ohio. And doubled their total point output for the year. Good for them. It still doesn't get them out of the basement though. At least not yet. And thank the football gods they play in the MAC. And are the only MAC team here. (This Week: at W.Michigan. Our Pick: W.Michigan 31, UMass 21)

So, things are getting fun now. Enjoy your week, there are far more fun games to watch now that the cupcake season is over. 

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Accept no Replacements

Never accept anything but the best. Or in the case of the NFL, why worry about quality if you can save a few bucks.

As Mick once said, "You can't always get what you want":



But enough about the pros, we talk about the pure game, College Football. Hey, stop laughing!

There are changes afoot. Some teams are proving to not be quite as good as we once thought. But others seem to be better.

This week, the major meets prisoner #11. Are you listening Notre Dame?



So, we went 12-1 last week. How 'bout them apples? Makes us 37-6 on the season. Maybe now you'll be attention.

With that in mind, we quote the legendary Casey Kasem and say "It's on with the Countdown!"

THE DIRTY DOZEN:

1) Alabama 4-0. Okay, okay, I don't want death threats from people in Alabama. They have NO sense of humor regrading their football. None. Which explains Saban. Uh...anyway...As of this moment, they are considered College Football's best. Enjoy the ride. (This Week: vs. Ole Miss Our Pick: Alabama 31, Miss St. 10)

2)Florida State 4-0. Great win for the 'Criminoles--ooh, sorry, hard to escape your past. But seriously...and no, don't call me Shirley, they've proven to be pretty darn good. Barring an implosion, they should run the ACC table. Oh...sorry, that never happens. (This Week: at S.Florida. Our Pick: FSU 31, USF 13)

3) Oregon 4-0. Sorry, still don't buy them as some sort of defensive juggernaut. And until they are, they won't be #1 in our poll. Unless of course the teams ahead of them keep losing. (This Week: at Washington St. Our Pick: Oregon 41, Wash. St. 31)

4) LSU 4-0. Uh...The Lovely Bride won't like this, but they don't appear worthy of where we ranked them previously. To say they looked awful on offense vs. Auburn would be an understatement. But they did win, so there is that. (This Week: vs. Towson St. Our Pick: LSU 47, Towson 3)

5) Georgia 4-0. Now we'll get to see if they are worthy of the lofty status. All the suspended guys are back and the games get at least a little tougher. That being said, they just killed a not-as-awful Vandy team last week. (This Week: vs. Tennessee. Our Pick: Georgia 37, Tennessee 21)

6) South Carolina 4-0. Well, Connor Shaw made me eat my words, he was pretty damn impressive last week as the 'Cocks creamed the Missouri Tigers. (yeah, I know, juvenile) Everything is being geared towards the Georgia game next week. (This Week: at Kentucky. Our Pick: S.Carolina 38, Kentucky 13)

7) West Virginia 3-0. They didn't exactly crush Maryland, who showed signs of life--for once. But Geno Smith continues to be the man and our pick for the Heisman. Unless they lose, which we suppose, could happen. (This Week: at Baylor. Our Pick: West Virginia 51, Baylor 48)

8) Stanford 3-0. Long live the tree. They got a week off after brushing aside USC, which is a good thing. No crazy good stars here, just a good, well coached team. But we don't see them finishing in the 12, but then again, we've been known to be wrong. (This Week: at Washington. Our Pick: Stanford 31, Washington 27)

9) Kansas State 4-0. They are getting lots of national love for beating an overrated Oklahoma team. Which doesn't discount the fact they beat them in Norman. But still. Colin Klein is a great running QB and the team is solid and deep. And as long as Bill Snyder coaches....(This Week: BYE)

10) Florida 4-0. Yes, that's right, they are back. Sort of. They've played well enough to win, but outside of Kentucky, they haven't blown anyone away either. This may soon change as the schedule gets tougher. Much tougher. (This Week: BYE)

11) Notre Dame 4-0. We aren't sure we've ever had the Irish in the Dozen. Congratulations Notre Dame, you may become relevant again. Your defense seems to be top notch (thanks Manti Te'o). But you better pick it up on offense or it won't last. (This Week: BYE)

12) USC 3-1. Yes, we're putting a one loss team in here. The other alleged undefeated mega-powers are less than convincing, they are just kings of cupcakes. USC will be tough as long as Matt Barkley stays healthy and Coach Kiffykins head doesn't explode. (This Week: BYE)

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:

Oh Colorado, you tempt us so. We don't like to move teams out of here unless they truly earn it and since you won this past week, But you did beat the fighting Mike Leach's in a nail biter, so you can now leave the island.

5) Kentucky 1-3. Yes, we know, they've won a game. But it was against Kent State. They haven't been competitive against anyone else. Pity poor Joker Phillips. We love the idea of a coach named Joker, but this Joker may soon be pulled from the deck. (This Week: vs. S.Carolina. Our Pick: see #6)

4) Arkansas 1-3. Haha! Just to prove we aren't total SEC homers, here's 2 teams in the bottom five. And they appear to deserve the honor. If you can't run and can't stop anyone, you can't win. Think about that one John L. Smith. (This Week: at Texas A&M. Our Pick: TAMU 34, Arkansas 24)

3) Idaho 0-4. Oh, poor Idaho. They had a chance to beat Wyoming. And yet they didn't. Which is why they are here. You know, if you are being outscored by 20 pts a game, you probably won't win much. And that is Idaho in a nutshell. (This Week: at North Carolina. Our Pick: UNC 40, Idaho 10)

2) Memphis 0-4. You know your team sucks when Duke blows you out. And that is what happened to the toothless Tigers. And their best RB just left the team. Wah! Wah! Wah!. There's always basketball season on the horizon. (This Week: Bye 41, Memphis 3)

1) UMass 0-4. Congrats to the Minutemen. They've reached double figures in scoring the last two weeks. But they've been out scored 90-29 in those two games. Which is why you land in polls like this. So....(This Week: vs. Ohio. Our Pick: Ohio 90, UMass 29)

And so wraps up Week #4. After this week it gets serious, with several top teams playing each other. And the cupcakes playing each other too.

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: USC got beat by a Tree

Well, hopefully you are still with us as we enter week number 3. Because this is college football, there are always upsets, and last week proved that when Stanford beat USC.

Now mind you Stanford didn't have Andrew Luck or any of the other graduates who went on to play in the NFL or running corporations, but they still won.

We think it's because ESPN picked USC to win it all. Or maybe it was USC coach Lane Kiffin and his unbelievably tight sphincter.

We have to run his presser from yesterday again...because it was just too friggin funny.



No pressure there Coach Kiffykins, no pressure.



So.

With that being said, we didn't have a perfect week last week, but we didn't do poorly either. Let's go back and take a look:

Last Week's Picks: 11-4. Not bad, but we can do better. Overall: 25-5...now...doesn't that sound better?

In this weeks clip, we go to the execution scene, something we are pretty sure the L.A. Media would like to do to Kiffykins...or Kiffykins would like to do to them:



And now, in the words of the Immortal Casey Kasem it's--"On with the Countdown"

The Dirty Dozen:

1) LSU 3-0. We're sticking with them even though they aren't the popular choice now. And yeah, there are a few roadblocks. But they really haven't been pushed. Of course they haven't played anyone either.
(This Week: at Auburn. Our Pick: LSU 33, Auburn 21)

2) Alabama 3-0. We won't put them at #1 mostly because we like being anti-establishment, and the Fighting Saban's certainly are the popular pick. They too haven't really been pushed and all things considered, killing Arkansas wasn't much of a surprise. (This Week: vs. Florida Atlantic. Our Pick: Alabama 43, FAU 10)

3)Florida State 3-0. So far, so good, they've been about as close to perfect as you can be. They've only given up 3 points...all year. Of course it's all been vs. Cupcakes. We actually think they have a shot, but we also know much like the Big 10, every ACC team chokes at least once per season. (This Week: vs. Clemson. Our Pick: FSU 27, Clemson 23)

4) Oregon 3-0. Yeah, I know, we don't love them because they resemble a track team. And that is why. Most SEC teams can run with them and are WAY more physical. Track meet football is popular out west, and honestly, they are very good at it. (This Week: vs. Arizona. Our Pick: Oregon 37, Arizona 20)

5) West Virginia 2-0. Geno Smith, Geno Smith, Geno Smith. That's all you really need to say here. They are awfully good and don't have a tough schedule. Maybe a longshot, but I'd watch out for these guys. (This Week: vs. Maryland. Our Pick: Geno Smith 43, Maryland 12)

6) Georgia 3-0. This is as good a starting unit as there is. But are they BCS material? Depth is an issue, though most of the suspended defense is returning. Aaron Murray is legit and so are the freshman RB's.  The only worry is they'll blow a game they shouldn't. (This Week: vs. Vanderbilt. Our Pick: UGA 37, Vandy 23)

7) South Carolina 3-0. Well, we were right in week one about Connor Shaw, but that doesn't seem to be an issue, Dylan Thompson has been impressive to say the least. They'll stick around but everything points to Oct. 6th, when Georgia comes to town. (This Week: vs. Missouri. Our Pick: S.Carolina 31, Mizzou 27)

8) Oklahoma 2-0. They get a lot of love, but the question is: Have they earned it? The jury is still out. There's plenty of talent here, but nobody seems real excited about them. Including us. (This Week: vs. Kansas State. Our Pick: Oklahoma 41, K-State 33)

9) Stanford 3-0. Hmmm. Maybe they don't miss Andrew Luck. Or maybe the defense is just that good that it doesn't matter. Either way they are a surprise and get this on the basis of making Coach Kiffykins look really bad. (This Week: BYE)

10) Clemson 3-0. By virtue of not allowing Notre Dame to make this list YET, Clemson gets the nod. And they get Sammy Watkins back. But they have a tough test this week. The advantage is, they've been tested--sort of--vs. Auburn. (This Week: at FSU. Our Pick: See #3)

11) Texas 3-0. Proof that big schools get big rankings because they are big. They are much improved, but they aren't THAT much improved. David Ash has secured the starting QB job and the depth has been solid. (This Week: BYE)

12) USC 2-1. Ha! Even though we didn't pick it last week, we told you they'd lose a game they shouldn't. That's why we NEVER buy the hype on any team outside the SEC and sometimes not them either. Too many pundits who don't know of what they speak. (This Week: vs. California. Our Pick: USC 37, Cal. 21)

The Bottom of the Barrel: 

5) Houston 0-3. There are a few coaches out there saying this is Karma for the Case Keenum years when they ran up scores on people. And maybe they are right. When you can't run, can't score and can't stop anybody, you end up here. (This Week: BYE)

4) Idaho 0-3. So...there's this team in Idaho. And they play in the WAC and they aren't very good. And they avg. 39 yards rushing per game and 10 points. At least they got paid for letting LSU slaughter them. (This Week: vs. Wyoming. Our Pick: UPSET! Idaho 10, Wyoming 9)

3) Memphis 0-3. They move up ONLY by virtue of the two teams behind them being atrocious. We know why they play football here, but that still doesn't make it right. They've been really bad for a really long time and that isn't going to change. (This Week: at Duke. Our Pick: Duke 31, Memphis 17)

2) Colorado 0-3. Wah! Wah! Wah!. Where have you gone Kordell Stewart and Eric Bienemy? Words cannot describe how bad this team is. And they PAC 12 was clamoring for them? Really? Maybe it was to keep the academic and graduation rate up? It certainly couldn't be for football. (This Week: at Washington St. Our Pick: Wash. St. 49, Colorado 17)

1) UMass 0-3. Colorado is pushing them, but we are quite sure it gets no worse than this. They are the worst in D-1 in almost every category. We didn't think that was possible. Yeeeesh. We aren't even sure what to say here, they average 6 points a game. (This Week: Miami (OH) 41, UMass 5)

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel

So...we've got one week in the books and already some teams are being proclaimed champs and others chumps.

Some big teams went down in flames and some little guys "Shocked the Monkey"(just wanted to get a Peter Gabriel reference in)



With that in mind, the Dozen kicks into full-on inspection mode:



As always, we got off to a pretty good start in Week #1: 14-1 (We don't pick spreads--though we are partial to certain types of Jams--haha)

So...as Casey Kasem would say...."On with the Countdown"....

The Dirty Dozen:

1) LSU 2-0. We still think they are better than Alabama. 4 academic suspensions this week won't help, but then again, they are playing Idaho. And that won't be much of a challenge. (This Week: vs. Idaho. Our Pick: LSU 47, Idaho 3)

2) USC 2-0. This is a pretty good team. And deep. But are hurting at kicker. And missing the beat reporter that reported on his injury. Kiffykins being Kiffykins, he'll cost them a game at some point. But it may be the bowl game. (This Week: at Stanford. Our Pick: USC 37, Stanford 21)

3) Alabama 2-0. If the Great Satan says his team isn't as good as the reporters say, well, then who are we to question him? They've been solid and only really have one challenge ahead...and it's a doozy. But it isn't until November. (This Week: at Arkansas. Our Pick: Alabama 31, Ark. 13)

4) Florida St. 2-0. They get this kind of by default. Really, we don't think they'll end up here. They have been putting up pinball numbers on cupcakes. They are traditionally one of the stupidist teams in the NCAA, and that won't change. (This Week: vs. Wake Forest. Our Pick: FSU 34, Wake Forest 17)

5) Georgia 2-0. Your "All-Potential" team. They rolled Mizzou in a game EVERYONE thought would be close. And did it without 4 of their best defensive players. 2 of them return this week. There are a couple of land mines ahead, but none they can't survive. (This Week: vs. Florida Atlantic. Our Pick: UGA 44, FAU 10)

6) Oregon 2-0. Quack, quack. We are always skeptical of this team. They can outrun most teams in the West, and don't play anybody worth a crap. Except USC. (This Week: vs. Tennesse Tech (really?). Our Pick: Oregon 53, Tenn. Tech 10)

7) Oklahoma 2-0. They haven't overwhelmed their cupcakes. FAMU doesn't count. They've been decent. But Landry Jones hasn't excelled. Yet. The practice games end and it gets real now. Let's see what happens. (This Week: vs. Kansas St. Our Pick: Oklahoma 24, K-State17)

8) South Carolina 2-0. Okay. Count us on the list of people who didn't think Dylan Thompson would be better than the injured Connor Shaw. But we were wrong. Though we think the Ol' ball coach with 2 QB's is a problem, he'll try too hard to make it work. (This Week: vs. UAB (haha). Our Pick: S.Carolina 41, UAB 10)

9) West Virginia 1-0. They drop only by virtue of not playing. We think Geno Smith is one of the best QB's in all of college football. And they've got a couple more weeks of cupcake scheduling to get through. (This Week: vs. James Madison. Our Pick: WVA 47, James Madison 3 dead presidents)

10) Michigan St. 2-0. Always a media darling. Always a disappointment. We'll see what happens when they hit a big game. Oh wait, they play Notre Dame this week. Notre Dame meant big game about 15-years ago. Not any more. (This Week: vs. Notre Dame. Our Pick: Mich. St. 27, Notre Dame 17)

11) Clemson 2-0. "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a Clemson choker" (Mangled Steve Miller Band Quotes). They should be really good. They are always "pretty good". They get this by default. Not much else we can say. (This Week: vs. Furman. Our Pick: Clemson 34, Furman 21)

12) Virginia Tech 2-0. They started with a bang. And they are traditionally very, very good. We like Big Logan Thomas, he's a damn good QB. We aren't sold on the long-term future for this team, but for now, we like them a lot. (This Week: at Pittsburgh. Our Pick: Va.Tech 37, Pitt. 12)

The Bottom of the Barrel: 

Special mention here to former Top 10 team Arkansas. Sorry, you can't lose to Louisiana Monroe. EVER. And yet you did. We don't buy the injured Tyler Wilson excuse. You should be able to overcome that. Oh...wait. John L. Smith is your coach. Yeah, good look with that. However you have A win, so you avoid this list...for now.

5) Pittsburgh 0-2. You still want these guys ACC? Losers of 2 in a row. They've got some serious defensive issues. QB Tino Sunseri isn't bad, but isn't enough to overcome a "D" that can't stop anyone. (This Week: vs. Va. Tech. Our Pick: See above)

4) Colorado 0-2. You've lost to Colorado St. and Sacramento State? Really? Seriously? Weren't you once a national power? Come on Man....(This Week: at Fresno St. Our Pick: Fresno St. 31, Colorado 21)

3) Houston 0-2. Ground control to Major Tom....Wow. Weren't you a Top 20 program the past few years? At least you got part of your Mojo back, scoring 49 in a loss. So there's that. Just so you know, the electric slide continues. (This Week: at UCLA. Our Pick: UCLA 44, Houston 41)

2) Memphis 0-2. Congratulations. You played a close game, so you get to move out of the basement in our poll. You still are a HORRIBLE team. Sorry, we don't pull punches. (This Week: vs. Middle Tennessee State. Our Pick: MTSU 27, Memphis 22)

1) UMass 0-2. Wah, wah, wah.....Please explain again why you wanted to move to D-1? We should congratulate you though, you scored a Touchdown this past week. So there's that. (This Week: at Michigan (really?!) Our Pick: Michigan 54, UMass 7)

And there you have it. Tell us what YOU think? Can you do better? We'd like to hear about it. 

TWTW Thursday: South Carolina, Vandy, UConn, UMass

Here's your Thursday recap...

South Carolina just got out of Vanderbilt alive 17-13
Here's the OBC talking about survival and Connor Shaw got out alive- although he gets a lot of bonus points for being a tough SOB...
((HT: ABCColumbia))
UConn welcomed UMass to Division I with a 37-0 shutout at Renschler Field. It was the first time the two schools played each other since 1999, when both schools were Division I-AA... it wasn't even close... ((HT: WTNH-TV))

UConn beats UMass 37-0 in renewal of rivalry

UNLV lost to Minnesota in three overtimes 30-27, the highlights are here fron 13 Action News/KTNV-TV
Other winners include Central Michigan (sorry, Wilkie), UCLA, and Utah
More fun tonight...