Dirty South Turns James Franklin's Departure Into An Outkast Tune

((HT: Dirty South Sports Report))

Here's J-Mart's riff on the James Franklin hiring by Penn State/departure from Vanderbilt to put a bow on the tenure and his change of address to Happy Valley...

The HQ wonders just how long it took him to figure out the iambic pentameter...

So...
Lehgo...



James Franklin has officially left Vanderbilt to become the head coach at Penn State. To cope we did the only thing we know what to do, so we wrote him an Outkast song.

[Hook]
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James

[Verse 1 – Sleepy Brown]
Brand new suit & Lincoln’s clean
Leanin’ checking out the scene
Pennsylvania boys, cameras lit; ridin’ out talkin’ shit
Franklin where you wanna go?
You know the ol’ boys club don’t close ’til four
Let’s party ’til we can’t no more
Watch out here come the fans (Damn – oh lord)

[Verse 2 - Andre 3000]
As the plot thickens it gives me the dickens
Reminiscent of Dudley, a lil’ stadium
Nestled in the ghettos of Vandyville, USA
Via Nashville, Tennessee a lil’ spot where
Young men & young women go to experience
They first li’l taste of the SEC life
Me? Well I’ve never been there; well perhaps once
But I, was so engulfed in the tailgate
I never made it to the door you speak of hard core
While the David Williams sweatin’ out all the problems
And the troubles of the day
While this fine sun dressed girl fine as all outdoors
Lulls lukewarm lullabies in your left ear
Competing with “Wagon Wheel,” in the right
But it all blends perfectly, let the liquor tell it
“Hey hey look baby they playin’ our song”
And the crowd goes wild as if
Holyfield has just shotgunned a Natty Light
But in actuality it’s only about 3 P.M
And three freshmen just don’ got hauled
Off in the ambulance (sliced up)
Two kappas don’ start bustin’ (wham wham)
And one senior don’ took his shirt off talkin’ ’bout
“Now who else wanna fuck with Highland Quad?”
It’s just my interpretation of the situation

[Hook]
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James
Damn damn damn James

[Verse 3 - Big Boi]
Yes; when I first met my SpottieOttieCoachalicious Franklin
I can remember that damn thing like yesterday
The way he talked reminded me of a Nick Saban
Horse with skates on, ya know
Smooth like a hot comb in a black and gold suit
I walked up on him and was almost paralyzed
His words was flowing sweeter
Than a plate of yams with extra syrup
Eyes beaming like four karats apiece just blindin’ a Commodore
Felt like I chiefed a whole O of that Presidential
My heart was beating so damn fast
Never knowing this moment would bring another
Coach into this school
Funny how shit come together sometimes (ya dig)
One moment you frequent the bowl games and
The next four years you & somebody’s offensive coordinator
Raisin’ y’all own young team now that’s a beautiful thang
That’s if you’re on top of your game
And man enough to handle real life situations (that is)
Can’t gamble feeding a fanbase on that coach money
Might not always be sufficient but the
Pennsylvania State University & the people at State College
Didn’t call you back because you started 0-6.
So now you back in the trap just that, trapped
Go on and marinate on that for a minute

See the mind he has here...???