Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Duck, Duck, Goose

Dear Oregon Fans,

Please stop comparing yourselves to SEC schools. While yes, you can beat a good majority of them, you still can't hang with the Alabama's...or apparently Stanford's of the world.



Yeah, so that happened. For the second year in a row, Stanford takes care of the Oregon national championship dream.

And in the process, narrowed down our field.

Tell 'em Naitch--

So last week wasn't one of our best. Still we went 8-3 picking games, making the grand total: 113-19. Think about it.

But enough self-promoting drivel, time as Casey Kasem always says to "Get on with the countdown"....


1) Florida St. 9-0. Yes, we know about Jameis Winston being tied to a 2012 sexual assault case. No, it doesn't change anything in 2013. This is your best team. We'd take 'em over Alabama. Really, we would.
This Week: vs. Syracuse. Haha! Our Pick: FSU 57, Syracuse 12

2) Alabama 9-0. Nicely done gentlemen. A good win vs. a game, but undermanned LSU team. You have done well to get here. Your only remaining test should be Auburn. Who oustide 'Bama will be happy to see them in the BCS title game again? Anyone?

This Week: at Mississippi St. Our Pick: Alabama 31, Miss St. 13

3) Ohio St. 9-0. Congratulations on your big promotion. Yes, Buckeye fan, you are now one slip away from BCS title land. Where you'll summarily get your ass handed to you by the best team you'll have played in two years. But that argument is for another day. This Week: at Illinois. Our Pick: tOSU 51, Illinois 10

4) Baylor 9-0. We aren't so sure this isn't your #3 team, but for the sake of argument right now, we'll keep the Bears here. Mighty Oklahoma and Bob Stoops hung with them. For about a quarter. Don't expect anyone else to keep up either. This Week: vs. Texas Tech. Our Pick: Baylor 49, T-Tech 20

5) Stanford 8-1. Well done gentlemen. A nice win over Oregon. Again. Now if we could only explain the Utah loss and, well, you'd be on top of the world.

But we digress. This Week: at USC. Our Pick: USC 37, Stanford 31 UPSET ALERT!!

6) Auburn 9-1. Oh boy. Where do we start? Okay, raise your hand if you thought the Tigers would be this good, this fast. Yeah....thought so. Believe it or not folks, though they may not make the BCS title game, this is the team will have a big say in who will. This Week: vs. Georgia. Our Pick: Auburn 27, Georgia 23

7) Oregon 8-1. So, is it now safe to say, much like pulling a Clemson, you can pull an "Oregon" and lose a game later in your season that cost you a title shot? Yes? We can? Alright, great, we'll keep that one in our vernacular. This Week: vs. Utah. Our Pick: Oregon 37, Utah 31

8) Missouri 9-1. So Tiger fan, how much is that South Carolina gag job hurting you? Answer: A Lot. Though to your credit, you've rebounded from that well. Win this's Atlanta and the SEC title game for you. This Week: BYE

9) Clemson 9-1. Finally, you got your bye week. After 9 long weeks. A chance to catch your breath and watch the rest of the world zoom right on by. If FSU wins this week, it's Chick-Fil-A city for you at the end of the year Baby! This Week: vs. Ga.Tech. Our Pick: Clemson 38, Ga.Tech 33

10) Fresno State 9-0. Yes, that's right. We put an undefeated team in the World's GREATEST poll. Mostly because, well, it's our poll. And we don't have to answer to anyone else. This Week: BYE

11) Northern Illinois 9-0. World, meet Jordan Lynch. Jordan Lynch, meet world. This game is being played as we write this. Sorry, the delay couldn't be avoided. Really, I shouldn't be writing this tonight. But anyway, I owe it to you, all 10 of you who read this. Enough. This Week: vs. Ball St. Our Pick: NIU 37, Ball St. 33

12) UCF 7-1. No, we don't know how the Knights are two weeks behind everyone else. But it doesn't matter. This is one of the better teams, you've never seen play. Big Blake Bortles, another pretty darn good QB and one you've never heard of. This Week: at Temple. Our Pick: UCF 41, Temple 20


5) UMass 1-8. They're back! The Minutemen got a reprieve earlier this season after beating Miami (OH), but 3 straight losses bring them back to the promised land. We don't think they'll escape this time.

But they are here. This Week: vs. Akron. Our Pick: Akron 37, UMass 13

4) FIU 1-8. Wha, wha, wha! But hey, at least Carl Pellini wasn't your coach. But you have Ron Turner? Wha? Really? Okay, maybe you do have it pretty bad. This Week: at UTEP. Our Pick: UTEP 23, FIU 21

3) Georgia State 0-9. It's been a tough year for Trent Miles and his boys. We hate to put them on the list, they've played hard all season. But they haven't always played well. And there's the whole Oh-fer thing. This Week: vs. La-Lafayette. Our Pick: LaLaf 40, Ga.State 17

2) Miami, OH 0-9. More MAC action on a Wednesday? Wha? Is there some sort of deadline conspiracy thing going here? Who plays college football on Wednesday night? Come on man! This Week: at Kent St. Our Pick: Kent St. 30, Miami (OH) 12

1) Southern Miss 0-9. We are giving lots of thought on just giving them the "All-Time" Barrel Champ belt. (need to make one--stat). They play Florida Atlantic this week and even without Carl Pellini, FAU is actually the favorite. That's just sad. This Week: FAU 3 Pellini's, Southern Miss 2

Ponder this: (No, not you Sam...or Christian)

No comments:

Post a Comment