Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel: Familiar Stranger (Conference Final Week)

A little obscure, but a fitting start when trying to (a) summarize possibly the craziest college football week ever (this year) and what we can only hope is the end to an endless debate.

By now, if you follow college football at all, you know what happened in the Auburn/Alabama game. It's never happened before and may never happen again...

That overshadowed such bizarre occurrences such as Brady Hoke going for the 2-point conversion and not getting it as Michigan loses to Ohio State, Georgia beating Georgia Tech in Overtime and Family Guy killing off Brian...


But that's enough depression.

This week is Championship Saturday--for the most part and our final picks and poll of the year. And really, because we are just not very modest, we must boast of our greatness.

Last week, we were 9-4. But we're okay with that because Southern Miss and Hawaii actually won and lifted themselves out of Bottom of the Barrel obscurity. The total for the year: 151-25.

But enough of that. As the great Casey Kasem once said, it's "On with the countdown"...


1) Florida State 12-0. So. We were right all along. This is your best team until proven otherwise. Or until Willie Meggs hands down an indictment. Ooooh...yeah, I said it. In all seriousness and Brother's Jon impending voice of doom taken into account, there's nobody better. They are deep, fast, physical and play defense. 'Nuff Said. This Week: ACC Championships vs. Duke. Our Pick: FSU 43, Duke 17

2) Ohio State 12-0. Yeah, I'm a little torn. But unlike most College Football fans in the south, I don't believe the SEC is the schizz this year. And as much as tOSU lucked out a few times, the fact is, they haven't lost. They'll face their toughest test to date this week. This Week: Big 10 Championship. Our Pick: tOSU 23, Mich. St. 21

3) Auburn 11-1. Ask any self-respecting Auburn fan if they thought they'd be here this season. The answer is no. But yet they are. The Tigers are young and will get better. Which should make you nervous. Luck is an awesome thing, but at some point that luck runs out. This Week: SEC Championship. Our Pick: Missouri 41, Auburn 37

4) Missouri 11-1. Bravo to Gary Pinkel and his charges. Possibly the most underrated team out there. Great job staying the course after James Franklin's injury. They've done everything asked of them this year and if not for Pinkel's brain fart vs. S.Carolina, this is your BCS title team. This Week: SEC Championships. Our Pick: see above

5) Alabama 11-1. Can't say the Tide didn't go out without a fight, but geez, the Great Saban made a couple of what in retrospect could be called "odd" decisions. We've said all along this is not his best or most talented team and turns out we were right. This Week: Bowl Game

6) Oklahoma State 11-1. Wait a minute, did someone ask if Mike Gundy was a Van Gundy brother. Oh...sorry, I heard that wrong. My bad. Though it would be funny if he were a short, overweight, balding guy with a Ron Jeremy mustache. Ha! This Week: vs. Oklahoma. Our Pick: Okie St. 31, Oklahoma 23.

7) Stanford 10-2. So, 10 wins and a spot in the Pac-12 title game. And the season was a bit of a disappointment. Wow! Talk about your expectations. But really, we bit too. We thought they were Alabama east. A bad loss to Utah and a loss to USC cost them dearly. This Week: PAC-12 Championships. Our Pick: Arizona St. 37, Stanford 27 UPSET!

8) Michigan St. 11-1. It didn't start pretty for Sparty, but low and behold, they have a say in the BCS title matchup. Something tells us every CFB fan south of Kentucky and east of Texas will be pulling for them to beat Ohio State. And they'll come close. This Week: Big 10 Championship. Our Pick: see #2

9) Arizona St. 10-2. Talk about flying under the radar. Nobody thought these guys were serious beginning the year. But the wayward traveller Todd Graham may actually know what he's doing. Go figure. This Week: Pac-12 Championship. Our Pick: see #7

10) Northern Illinois 12-0. Cinderella, meet the rest of the world. Those of us in the know, yeah, we've known how good you are. Yeah, we're talking about you Jordan Lynch. 321 yds rushing last week. For a QB. 22 passing TD's, 20 running. Your best player in america. Right here guys. This Week: MAC Championships. Our Pick: N.Illinois 47, Bowling Green 31

11) Oregon 10-2. Geez, talk about limping home. Losers 2 of the final three and barely escaping Oregon State. Guys, everyone thought you were better than that. But they may have been wrong. Still, too much talent to dismiss. But hey, there's always next year again. This Week; Bowl Game

12) Duke 10-2. They get the nod because really, who out there actually thought the Blue Devils would be in the ACC title game? Anyone? If this doesn't prove David Cutcliffe is a miracle worker, nothing will. And he's one of the nicest coaches we've ever met too. This Week: See #1


And so winds up the last of our dreaded poll. The worst of the worst. The teams who everyone wants to play. Well, sort of.

Special shout out to Southern Miss and Hawaii for their big wins last week. We wish you nothing but success and hope you never end up here again....

5) Florida 4-8. This was just sad guys. Yeah, sure, we know you had injuries, but so did everyone else. Your biggest injury may have been coaching your offense. Though it may take years to recover from the poor recruiting on that side of the ball. Karma is a bit of a bitch...ain't she...

4) Florida International 1-11. It's over now. You can stop watching. This team was every bit as bad as you'd think they'd be and that in no way shape or form is a compliment. They averaged 9.8 points a game. Really. They did. We didn't know Ron Turner was the coach until later in the year, but that explains a lot of this. Good luck in 2018.

3) Idaho 1-11. No potatoes for you! It's hard to look past a game where you gave up 80. Sure, it was FSU, but still. Have some pride. Somehow you beat Temple, but never threatened anyone else. Pity poor Paul Petrino, the likeable Petrino brother. Maybe he's not cut out for this head coach thing. Or maybe he inherited some crappy talent. Only time will tell.

2) Georgia St. 0-12. So, Panther fan, how are you enjoying life in FCS level football? Yeah, thought so. Most teams wait until they have some lower level success before moving up to the big time, but not these guys. And, well, they paid the price. Trent Miles is a good coach and we expect respectability here, it just may take a couple years.

1) Miami (OH) 0-12. Congratulations Red Hawks fan. You win the 2013 B.O.B trophy. Your own toilet bowl. But hey, at least you found a new head coach, Chuck Martin, former O.C at Notre Dame. So what if the Irish offense hasn't been that great the past few years, at least the credentials sound good on paper. Let's see if you can defend your title in 2014.

So the season, as we know it, comes to an end. It was a good, if somewhat uneventful season and we say that knowing full well what happened last week.

This will be the final year of ours and your favorite College Football thing--the BCS, next year the playoff begins. We'll be back. And we'll be ready to roll. We hope you are too....

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