Saturday, December 21, 2013

Bowl-a-Palooza Begins: Picks and Pans From The Season of Wasted Memories

((Overheard at random bowl game presentation))

Bowl Game Rep: "Congratulations coach, you and the (fill in team) get to travel to (fill in city) to play in the 45th annual (fill in the blank) bowl."
Coach or Athletic Director: "Thanks. It's an honor to play in the (fill in the blank) game. After finishing 4th in our conference, we consider it an honor." "We hope our fans will come out to visit your fine city and watch us win our 7th game of the season."
Bowl Game Rep: (leans over to AD)--"We can talk later about tickets. You'll be obligated for about 12,000 of them.
AD: "Huh"?
Bowl Game Rep: "Don't worry, we will sell them to you at face value. You can then sell them, give them away, whatever you want to do"
AD: "What if we don't sell all of them?"
Bowl Game Rep: "Well, that's up to you. As long as you pay us for the tickets, what you choose to do is up to you"
AD: "Uh, okay"

Now imagine you are Nebraska Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst. Your team had a disappointing 8-4 season. You are picked to go to the Gator Bowl. Your opponent? The Georgia Bulldogs, otherwise known as the team you played last year.

The ticket allotment (Nebraska Buys): 12,000. Now, just 11 days from the game you've sold 3,000 of them. Guess who's on the hook for the rest? Add that to the cost of hauling the band, the athletic department and everyone else to Florida and guess who is losing money on this deal?

But Bowl Games are wonderful. Right? They are the way thousands of College Football addicts come down from their season long high and find an excuse to not engage with family during the holidays.

Sounds cynical and narcissistic? Yeah, it does. But that's exactly how modern day college football works.

Deal with it.

If you've read this far, here's a list of this years games and who we think will win them:

Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Washington St. vs. Colorado State. Our Pick: WSU 43, CSU 31

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl: Royal Purple? What's that? Fresno St vs. USC Our Pick: USC 33, Fresno St 21

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Not to be confused with Famous Jameis the FSU QB. Buffalo vs. San Diego St. Our Pick: Buffalo 27, SDSU 10

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: We are obligated to pick the Cajuns here. Tulane vs. La. Lafayette. Our Pick: LaLaf 35, Tulane 27

Beef O'Brady's Bowl: Bad food, bad game. East Carolina vs. Ohio. Our Pick: ECU 37, Ohio 10

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: Yay! Trip to Hawaii. Oregon St vs. Boise St. Our Pick: OSU 45, BSU 37

Little Caesar's Bowl: Do we all get $5 pizzas now? Bowling Green vs. Pitt. Our Pick: Pitt 27, BGSU 21

San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Long title, dull game. Northern Illinois vs. Utah State. Jordan Lynch (NIU) 33, Utah St 23

Military Bowl: Hoping to come in close to budget. Maryland vs. Marshall. Maryland? Our Pick: Terps 31, Herd 21

Texas Bowl: Uh…yeah. Minnesota vs. Syracuse. Our Pick: Gophers 27, Orange 21

Fight Hunger Bowl: No, Jennifer Lawrence and the Hunger game won't be here. Washington vs. BYU. Our Pick: Huskies 41, Cougars 17

New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Nothing says college football better than Yankee Stadium. Notre Dame vs. Rutgers. Yawn. Irish 23, Rutgers 17

Belk Bowl: Discount clothing for everyone! North Carolina vs. Cincinnati. Yawn. Tar Heels 31, Bearcats 27

Russell Athletic Bowl: This might be a good one. Louisville vs. Miami. Our Pick: Teddy B (Louisville) 43, The U 31

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl: Try the Spicy Garlic. Kansas St vs. Michigan. Yawn. Wildcats 35, Wolverines 23

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Hopefully the chopper works. Navy vs. MTSU. Huh? Navy 31, MTSU 28

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: This might be a good one. Georgia Tech vs Ole Miss. Ole Miss 27, Ga. Tech 23

Valero Alamo Bowl: Good matchup, 2 uninterested teams. Oregon vs. Texas. Oregon 43, Texas 23

National University Holiday Bowl: 2 dull bowl games in San Diego? Arizona St vs Texas Tech. ASU 41, T-Tech 37

AdvoCare V100 Bowl: What is V100? A radio station? Boston College vs. Arizona. Good matchup. Arizona 37, BC 33

Hyundai Sun Bowl: Pretty, but doesn't work well. UCLA vs. VaTech. UCLA 34, VaTech 20

AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Sure. Enjoy your BBQ. Miss. State vs. Rice. Rice 31, Miss St. 28

Chick Fil A Bowl: Great storyline, not-so-great game. Texas A&M vs. Duke. Johnny Football's 45, Duke 31 Gator Bowl: The teams aren't interested, the fans even less so. Georgia vs Nebraska. UGA 41, Nebraska 31

Heart of Dallas Bowl: Why? North Texas vs. UNLV. Do you care? UNLV 23, N.Texas 21

Outback Bowl: Best halftime press meal. Period. LSU vs. Iowa. Tigers 20, Iowa 14

Capital One Bowl: Most depressing stadium ever. Game won't be much better. S.Carolina vs. Wisconsin. Gamecocks 28, Badgers 21

Rose Bowl: 'Nuff Said. Michigan St. vs. Stanford. Cardinal 24, Sparty 21

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Just like the chip, not pretty or deep. Baylor vs. UCF. Bears 47, Golden Knights 37

Allstate Sugar Bowl: Will this finally shut Bob Stoops up about the SEC? Alabama vs Oklahoma. Crimson Tide 35, Sooners 20

ATT Cotton Bowl: Decent not great. Missouri vs. Okie State. Mizzou 31, Okie State 21

Discover Orange Bowl: They still play this game? Good matchup. Ohio State vs Clemson. Tigers 41, Buckeyes 40

BBVA Compass Bowl: Congrats, you won a trip to Birmingham. Houston vs. Vanderbilt. Vandy 33, Cougars 24

GoDaddy Bowl: If you are interested. We aren't. Ball St. vs Arkansas St. Arkie St. 34, Ball St 23

Vizio BCS National Championship. This might be fun. The only fun one. FSU vs. Auburn. Seminoles 48, Tigers 47

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