Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Dirty Dozen and Bottom of the Barrel

So...we've got one week in the books and already some teams are being proclaimed champs and others chumps.

Some big teams went down in flames and some little guys "Shocked the Monkey"(just wanted to get a Peter Gabriel reference in)

With that in mind, the Dozen kicks into full-on inspection mode:

As always, we got off to a pretty good start in Week #1: 14-1 (We don't pick spreads--though we are partial to certain types of Jams--haha) Casey Kasem would say...."On with the Countdown"....

The Dirty Dozen:

1) LSU 2-0. We still think they are better than Alabama. 4 academic suspensions this week won't help, but then again, they are playing Idaho. And that won't be much of a challenge. (This Week: vs. Idaho. Our Pick: LSU 47, Idaho 3)

2) USC 2-0. This is a pretty good team. And deep. But are hurting at kicker. And missing the beat reporter that reported on his injury. Kiffykins being Kiffykins, he'll cost them a game at some point. But it may be the bowl game. (This Week: at Stanford. Our Pick: USC 37, Stanford 21)

3) Alabama 2-0. If the Great Satan says his team isn't as good as the reporters say, well, then who are we to question him? They've been solid and only really have one challenge ahead...and it's a doozy. But it isn't until November. (This Week: at Arkansas. Our Pick: Alabama 31, Ark. 13)

4) Florida St. 2-0. They get this kind of by default. Really, we don't think they'll end up here. They have been putting up pinball numbers on cupcakes. They are traditionally one of the stupidist teams in the NCAA, and that won't change. (This Week: vs. Wake Forest. Our Pick: FSU 34, Wake Forest 17)

5) Georgia 2-0. Your "All-Potential" team. They rolled Mizzou in a game EVERYONE thought would be close. And did it without 4 of their best defensive players. 2 of them return this week. There are a couple of land mines ahead, but none they can't survive. (This Week: vs. Florida Atlantic. Our Pick: UGA 44, FAU 10)

6) Oregon 2-0. Quack, quack. We are always skeptical of this team. They can outrun most teams in the West, and don't play anybody worth a crap. Except USC. (This Week: vs. Tennesse Tech (really?). Our Pick: Oregon 53, Tenn. Tech 10)

7) Oklahoma 2-0. They haven't overwhelmed their cupcakes. FAMU doesn't count. They've been decent. But Landry Jones hasn't excelled. Yet. The practice games end and it gets real now. Let's see what happens. (This Week: vs. Kansas St. Our Pick: Oklahoma 24, K-State17)

8) South Carolina 2-0. Okay. Count us on the list of people who didn't think Dylan Thompson would be better than the injured Connor Shaw. But we were wrong. Though we think the Ol' ball coach with 2 QB's is a problem, he'll try too hard to make it work. (This Week: vs. UAB (haha). Our Pick: S.Carolina 41, UAB 10)

9) West Virginia 1-0. They drop only by virtue of not playing. We think Geno Smith is one of the best QB's in all of college football. And they've got a couple more weeks of cupcake scheduling to get through. (This Week: vs. James Madison. Our Pick: WVA 47, James Madison 3 dead presidents)

10) Michigan St. 2-0. Always a media darling. Always a disappointment. We'll see what happens when they hit a big game. Oh wait, they play Notre Dame this week. Notre Dame meant big game about 15-years ago. Not any more. (This Week: vs. Notre Dame. Our Pick: Mich. St. 27, Notre Dame 17)

11) Clemson 2-0. "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a Clemson choker" (Mangled Steve Miller Band Quotes). They should be really good. They are always "pretty good". They get this by default. Not much else we can say. (This Week: vs. Furman. Our Pick: Clemson 34, Furman 21)

12) Virginia Tech 2-0. They started with a bang. And they are traditionally very, very good. We like Big Logan Thomas, he's a damn good QB. We aren't sold on the long-term future for this team, but for now, we like them a lot. (This Week: at Pittsburgh. Our Pick: Va.Tech 37, Pitt. 12)

The Bottom of the Barrel: 

Special mention here to former Top 10 team Arkansas. Sorry, you can't lose to Louisiana Monroe. EVER. And yet you did. We don't buy the injured Tyler Wilson excuse. You should be able to overcome that. Oh...wait. John L. Smith is your coach. Yeah, good look with that. However you have A win, so you avoid this list...for now.

5) Pittsburgh 0-2. You still want these guys ACC? Losers of 2 in a row. They've got some serious defensive issues. QB Tino Sunseri isn't bad, but isn't enough to overcome a "D" that can't stop anyone. (This Week: vs. Va. Tech. Our Pick: See above)

4) Colorado 0-2. You've lost to Colorado St. and Sacramento State? Really? Seriously? Weren't you once a national power? Come on Man....(This Week: at Fresno St. Our Pick: Fresno St. 31, Colorado 21)

3) Houston 0-2. Ground control to Major Tom....Wow. Weren't you a Top 20 program the past few years? At least you got part of your Mojo back, scoring 49 in a loss. So there's that. Just so you know, the electric slide continues. (This Week: at UCLA. Our Pick: UCLA 44, Houston 41)

2) Memphis 0-2. Congratulations. You played a close game, so you get to move out of the basement in our poll. You still are a HORRIBLE team. Sorry, we don't pull punches. (This Week: vs. Middle Tennessee State. Our Pick: MTSU 27, Memphis 22)

1) UMass 0-2. Wah, wah, wah.....Please explain again why you wanted to move to D-1? We should congratulate you though, you scored a Touchdown this past week. So there's that. (This Week: at Michigan (really?!) Our Pick: Michigan 54, UMass 7)

And there you have it. Tell us what YOU think? Can you do better? We'd like to hear about it. 

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